The Domesticated Primate

Okay, this list is tongue-in-cheek. I'm not vegan, but I sure can identify with some on this list, since I'm vegetarian:

Over 101 Reasons Not To Be a Vegan

I cannot tell you how many times I've been asked if I eat fish or chicken. I just don't understand this question. I really don't.

I've even had one person insist that "some vegetarians" they know eat fish and chicken. Really? Who knew? I wonder why these same "some vegetarians" don't just throw pork and beef into the mix, too? I mean, while we're just ignoring commonly-accepted definitions of terms, why not?

Some gems:

67. People you eat out with get exasperated when you try to determine what exactly is in the food you are ordering. (If it were an allergy, it would be fine, but since it's a choice, it's weird.)

69. You are tired of your vegetarian lifestyle being the big topic of conversation at EVERY business dinner you ever attend.

71. When the neighbor found out you were vegetarian after inviting you to a barbecue, he now thinks it's funny to announce to you every time he's cooking some sort of steak, roast, lamb, or ribs for his family.

92. The vegetarian option at the restaurant is a grilled cheese sandwich, grilled on the same grill they're grilling the burgers & steaks on.

93. Relatives who bring Kentucky Fried Chicken over when I invite them over for a meal.

94. Always having to answer "Why don't you eat meat?" In spite of all the reasons I could cite, the truth is that I just don't want to, and I shouldn't have to justify it every day of my life.

95. Being told "You can pick the meat off." In exasperation, I once replied,"Well, for me that would be the same as if I crapped on your food and told you you could just pick it off. Would you?"

98. I occasionally meet people who "used to be vegetarian" but "outgrew it" (ie. began to find it inconvenient).

99. I've come to realize that just because someone claims to be a vegetarian doesn't mean that they actually are. They just eat a lot of vegetables, and somehow don't associate chicken and fish with "meat".

118. Your employer has Chik-Fil-A cater lunch for everyone and can't understand why you didn't "just eat it this once" instead of taking a break to get real food.

134. Because when you tell them you are a vegan in a hospital they will bring you turkey and say, "Some vegetarians eat turkey."

137. Because you can't stand telling one more person that Jell-O is an animal product and having them say, "Oh no it's not."