The Domesticated Primate

This was a link referenced in the Javaposse podcast.

This site lists some of the real proceses, although unspoken, that development shops really follow. Forget Test Driven Development, XP, Scrum, etc. These describe what are *really* going on. :)

Asshole Driven development (ADD) - Any team where the biggest jerk makes all the big decisions is asshole driven development. All wisdom, logic or process goes out the window when Mr. Asshole is in the room, doing whatever idiotic, selfish thing he thinks is best. There may rules and processes, but Mr. A breaks them and people follow anyway.

Another unspoken process:

Get Me Promoted Methodology (GMPM) - People write code and design things to increase their visibility, satisfy their boss’s whims, and accelerate their path to a raise or the corner office no matter how far outside of stated goals their efforts go. This includes allowing disasters to happen so people can be heroes, writing hacks that look great in the short term but crumble after the individual has moved on, and focusing more on the surface of work than its value.

Here's one from the comments:

Teacher’s Pet Driven Development (TPDD) - when one developer is a favorite of a manager and thus bypasses all logic, design and reasoning in favor of the pet’s whims.

Yup, if you've been a developer for even a few years, you've probably seen these three and many of the ones listed on the site.

I'm reminded of the Antipatterns catalog; one of my favorite being the GoldenHammer. Who hasn't been somewhere that has a Golden Hammer? I've been places where the NetNegativeProducingProgrammer AntiPattern is combined with Teacher's Pet Driven Development. Not pretty.